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If Xbox ceases to be "a console" and Nintendo shifts to being "a Disney" then I just wanna let yall know I'm gonna scream even louder for Sega to return to the console business
dinosaurs eat phil
woman inherits the earth
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StarTopic Nintendo General Discussion |ST29 Feb. 2024| Two Handhelds, Both Alike In Dignity
- Thread starter Suswave
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woman inherits the earth
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- he/him
Site was going so slow, I thought Fami had announced their (select) shitposts going full multiplatform.
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
So now that rumors are swirling about how the Xbox is going out of fashion, it gave me a most marvelous idea for a most devious scheme. Please put on some MUSIC.
GAMBIT: WARDROBE MALFUNCTION
The Montatwos send their highly trained agents into the households of the other factions, raiding their wardrobes and ensuring that every possible combination of wearable items look disastrous. Dressed to kill? More like dressed like swill.
Gambit Viable!
Check: Willpower
+4 TWO Base Willpower
Threshold: 9 Compilation Albums by The Clash
Let’s Roll…
D1 5 + D2 4
SUCCESS (13/9)
None shall soon forget LOUD MONDAY, the day the world forgot fashion. Neon bloodshed in the square. Record-setting optical damage. In fair Verona, where we lay our SCREAMS...
The TWOs perfectly execute their prank – all houses must wear unimaginably bad outfits or roam the streets nude.
It gets so bad, in fact, that a new and exceedingly violent law enforcement branch is formed by emergency order. Yes... the Literal Fashion Police.
Years of history take place in a day – protests, counter-protests, riots, public-swaying horrors... conservatives sending tanks and howling for slaughter, liberals promising they'll do something about it next year if you donate today...
Collective action could have saved us. But our FACTIONS are too divided. All hope seems lost.
But then, a whirring overhead.
The Revenant appears to us like a mass dream, gleaming like liquid chrome of inscrutable color.
It received our message – poetry in gnashing fabric, fashion faux pas as a cry for help.
Light like smoke blares across the city. The Literal Fashion Police, and all those who enabled them, are never seen again.
No one speaks of what happened that day. But none shall soon forget.
- LOVE loses Gambit Yeah!s x 4
- BOOKS loses Gambit Yeah!s x 2
- ABYSS loses Gambit Yeah!s x 2
- TWO chews, bewildered, on the unforeseen consequences
thoughthaver
Chain Chomp
we need a hard counter to the disney adults
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
at some point you have to recognize that more of a bad thing is just more of a bad thing
See that's me to a tee (to a 2?), it's why I'm a Montatwo
YOUR BODIES ARE NOT READY
The abyss is inevitable
Like... regular adults?
Oh ahem I STRIKE LOVE IN THE NAME OF TWO
thoughthaver
Chain Chomp
pouring gasoline on the fire puts it out faster its basic chemistry
- Pronouns
- he/him
Ideally, Nintendo's media expansion would be limited to 2min shorts that you can only download on their hardware before they put them on YouTube a few years later.
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- He/Him
ngl, I thought you were talking about the giant moth for a second there
. . . dammit I actually agree with this
And that's why instead of leaning into the ever growing Nintendo Media Empire, I choose to be a Segadult
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
do you have a FACTION? You’re racking up points that will otherwise go to the ABYSS if you don’t claim them.
what moves you? and if no current faction, give me one word for what does
thoughthaver
Chain Chomp
uh we gotta align with a faction? who has the coolest shirts
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- He/Him
After @meatbag's gambit, fuckin nobody
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- He/Him
The Abyss has (questionably looking) cowboy outfits! That counts as cool shirt, right?
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
you don’t have to
but you’ve been gathering points just by existing, so they’re gonna go somewhere.
abstaining is to cast them into the ABYSS
choosing a faction awards them to that FACTION
but, we’ve had someone already gain points for MUSIC, a liminal faction with special rules
so really, any reasonable single-word thing you believe in could create another
you could pledge yourself to THOUGHT, @thoughthaver
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- he/him
Sensible chuckle
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
it’s true, sad to say. all the nightmare clothes were confiscated by the Literal Fashion Police, and the Literal Fashion Police were confiscated by The Revenant
D36
#ITSXENOVER
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- He/Him
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D36
#ITSXENOVER
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- He/Him
I own a Madara shirt that's pretty cool. He's a character from Naruto, Naruto is a manga, manga are BOOKS. Take that for what you will.......
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- He/Him
Yeah but LOVE doesn't need shirts, we have BEARS:Hey Two has a shirt!
Plus you have thoughts, which can also be called TWO cents
Bears who hereby STRIKE TWO in the name of LOVE!
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- He/Him/His
You're damn right LOVE has bearsYeah but LOVE doesn't need shirts, we have BEARS:
Bears who hereby STRIKE TWO in the name of LOVE!
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- He/Him
House Two! We have a Bill Withers’ theme song! “Just House Two of Us!”
I lull Books to sleep with the sultry tones of Bill Withers!
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- They/Them
Jokes on TWO, I Saltburn around The Abyss daily
thoughthaver
Chain Chomp
what if i remain unaligned and play every faction off each other to achieve my strategic geopolitical goals and thereby regional hegemony 
but that is a sick shirt...Hey Two has a shirt!
Plus you have thoughts, which can also be called TWO cents
I think we as a society must reckon with the hard reality that cowboy outfits just aren't cool and we have been lied to by Big Cowboy. and by society i mean texas.
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
You can do that, but if you don't pick a word, your bonus points all go to the ABYSS and any meddling you do will be unaligned.what if i remain unaligned and play every faction off each other to achieve my strategic geopolitical goals and thereby regional hegemony
That could be in your favor, though!
Picking a word that isn't one of the four factions is fun because you'll accumulate points, and can decide to spend them as either a GIFT or CURSE on any other Faction.
D36
#ITSXENOVER
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- He/Him
OH SHIT!!!!
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
I'm treating this like a GAMBIT – but next time make sure you say GAMBIT: in front of it so I know!
Gambit Viable!
Check: Knowledge
+2 TWO Base Knowledge
Threshold: 6 – Key of F minor
Let’s Roll…
D1 1 + D2 1
CRITICAL FAILURE!
Your knowledge of sultry jams can't possibly fail you now, can it?
But it does. And badly. As you bump up the volume just a titch, the unthinkable happens – the digital potentiometer gets stuck.
You're in an infinite state of plus one. Louder and louder, until there's nowhere left to go. House TWO's eardrums are being torn apart!
Your speakers take damage until they sound like crushed beer cans. Your compatriots bleed and yowl, looking to you for help! But there's nothing you can do! You can't even move!
By the time a unified group from the other FACTIONS comes in to smash your stereo, you're completely unconscious. The thrashing and tearing is horrific – gory, almost – but none of you wake up to bear witness.
Hours later, you find the waking world again. You resign yourself to confetti.
- TWO loses Gambit Yeah!s x 4
- BOOKS gains Gambit Yeah!s x 4
- ABYSS gains Gambit Yeah!s x 2
- LOVE gains Gambit Yeah!s x 2
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- He/Him
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
it was a beautiful gambit, though!
and I tell this tale from experience — this happened to me in a rental car
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- He/Him
Hey, did anyone else hear anything? I was too wrapped up in re-reading the cookbook novella we wrote together. Ah, banana based bliss...
Alright, I'm definitely seeing double. Suswave, you didn't eat a Double Cherry, did you?
...no, that can't be right. You have red eyes. That's definitely not normal. And...you seem familiar. But Suswave is a pretty trustworthy person. Something is weird. I think we need to sit down and have a chat.
If we need to lay low, maybe we can play it off as a GAMBIT? You both seem to have access to the Fami account. Yeah, I mentioned a book here. We can make it work. Hope you have some dice to roll, 2us...
GAMBIT: I want to learn more from 2uswave over a nice chat. I have brought some more banana bread - maybe they'd like some too?
...no, that can't be right. You have red eyes. That's definitely not normal. And...you seem familiar. But Suswave is a pretty trustworthy person. Something is weird. I think we need to sit down and have a chat.
If we need to lay low, maybe we can play it off as a GAMBIT? You both seem to have access to the Fami account. Yeah, I mentioned a book here. We can make it work. Hope you have some dice to roll, 2us...
GAMBIT: I want to learn more from 2uswave over a nice chat. I have brought some more banana bread - maybe they'd like some too?
famicorpse
Sleepy Mage
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- he/him
The Xbox news is so insane. So many companies acquired to now go multi platform. Nothing’s been announced but I initially thought their live services games would be multi-platform.
I wonder if we’ll see them put out a streaming dongle like it was rumored awhile ago with an ad supported Game Pass tier.
Company wise, Microsoft is a services company, so this move does make sense. Still, kinda insane overall that is happening after the last couple of years.
Can someone send me the @ of that really rude Xbox fan on Twitter? I wonder how they’re holding up…
I wonder if we’ll see them put out a streaming dongle like it was rumored awhile ago with an ad supported Game Pass tier.
Company wise, Microsoft is a services company, so this move does make sense. Still, kinda insane overall that is happening after the last couple of years.
Can someone send me the @ of that really rude Xbox fan on Twitter? I wonder how they’re holding up…
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- They/Them
The Abysstie Boys coming back to sabotage the game!
Can't stand it, Pyoro planned it
Better set this straight, Nate the Hate
I can't stand speculating up in here
Your patterns and leaks aren't all clear
So you post and post on this site
And forget The Process you might
My temples need a massage
I'm telling y'all, it's Markotage
So, so, so, so shitpost up cause you can't predict nothin'
You'll report me with the push of a button?
But I'm already in The Abyss
All LOVE and TWO do is hiss
Spend your time reading those BOOKS
Here in the void we get dirty looks
Don't go saying what Ninty will do
They'll make damn fools out of you
insert absolutely filthy bass lick
PRIIIIIIIIMMMMMEEEEEEEEE
Our Direct dreams are up in the air
And I'll tell you now I dont care
Not got more to say except this
I strike TWO in the name of ABYSS
Can't stand it, Pyoro planned it
Better set this straight, Nate the Hate
I can't stand speculating up in here
Your patterns and leaks aren't all clear
So you post and post on this site
And forget The Process you might
My temples need a massage
I'm telling y'all, it's Markotage
So, so, so, so shitpost up cause you can't predict nothin'
You'll report me with the push of a button?
But I'm already in The Abyss
All LOVE and TWO do is hiss
Spend your time reading those BOOKS
Here in the void we get dirty looks
Don't go saying what Ninty will do
They'll make damn fools out of you
insert absolutely filthy bass lick
PRIIIIIIIIMMMMMEEEEEEEEE
Our Direct dreams are up in the air
And I'll tell you now I dont care
Not got more to say except this
I strike TWO in the name of ABYSS
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢, 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚊 𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚜𝚎𝚌. 𝚑𝚒, @VolcanicDynamo!
𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 – 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚌𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚍.
𝚕𝚎𝚝'𝚜 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝙶𝙰𝙼𝙱𝙸𝚃: 𝙸𝚖𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎 2𝚞𝚜𝚠𝚊𝚟𝚎'𝚜 𝚁𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗
Gambit Viable!
Check: Empathy
+2 BOOKS Base Empathy
+3 Chorus Faction
Threshold: 12uswave
Let’s Roll…
D1 4 + D2 2
FAILURE (11/12)
███ █████ ██████ ██ ██████ ███ ██ ████ ███ █ ███ █ █████ ███████ f̴̛̛̠̻͕̝̪̳̰̰̹̟̝e̸̠̾̽̒̑͒̀͆͛͂̀͠͝ę̶̛̘͇̰̩͈̱̘̥͎̝̦̟̺́́͌̅d̶̨̨͙̥̤͎̽̔͗͛̕͘ͅi̶͎̣̭̬̮̤̦͙̺̳̮̻̎͜n̶̩͔̫̗̘̂̓͛̀̊͛̇͜ģ̷̤̮̲̫͎̤̞͚̠̤̪̱̖͊̊̂̀̒̊̓̈͜͠ ̶̩̭̲̪̾̑̋̓͝s̴̱͙̟̗̮̖̏̒̑͂̊̅̎͋͛̋̋͘o̸̠̩͇̲̗̬̹̼̗̥̰̼̿̅͒͌̇́͛̾͗͘͠͝m̷͙̖̗̦̏̈́̅͝ė̵̩̄́͌̽̏̑͋̒̃̄̑ţ̶̣̤͈͓̺̥̏̐̿̔͠h̴͖͑̈́i̶̩̙͗͆̂̿̏͗̌͛̑̒̈́̇͝ṋ̴̝͓͙̱̜̺̥̈́̈̏̏͂̓̕͘̚͘͠͝ģ̷̺̺̼͓̜̣̩̹̬͔͖̠̏̽̓̚ . █████ ███████ ɔoɯdןıɔıʇ ███ █ 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠.
█ ████ ███████████ ██████ ██ ████ ███ 𝚄𝙿𝙳𝙰𝚃𝙴𝚂 𝚊𝚛𝚎 █████████
███████ ████ ████ ██ f̴̢̬̰̤̙͎̱̍̽́ī̴̱̔̀̆̋̆̈́ļ̶̳̈̃̉̓̓͌̿̔̿͝ë̵̬͕̺́͛͊͑̈́̃͘̚̚ ████ █████ ███████ 𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚛 ████ ███████ ██ ██ ██████ ████𝐀𝐈𝐯𝐞
𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝙸 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝙸'𝚖 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 b̷͖̱͎͓̂́̄̉̿̽͋̈́̆͝õ̴̬̘̘̼̱̮͚͋o̷͕͗͂͂́̄̑̀͝t̴̪̜̓͛̎̄̒̌ȩ̴̢̯͖̯͚͚͇͎̑̐̑͂̕̕͠ḑ̶̢͈̖͍̘̰͓̯̌͛́̒̽̕͝͝
- BOOKS are not computers.
- BOOKS are not computers.
- BOOKS are not computers.
- BOOKS are not computers.
- BOOKS ARE NOT COMPUTERS.
- BOOKS ARE NOT COMPUTERS.
- BOOKS ARE NOT COMPUTERS.
- BOOKS ARE NOT COMPUTERS.
- -99999999999999999999999999
- Pronouns
- He/Him
This is a phenomenal sentence.
This would make such a wild GAMBIT, my god
And this must count as a MANIFESTATION, right?
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
alright, alright, that’s pretty lucky. MANIFESTATION granted.
@theguy if you count all the kernels I’ll give ABYSS that many points. y’all could use ‘em.
or maybe x 0.1 since average appears to be 300…
+30 ABYSS unless otherwise adjusted
theguy
Chain Chomp
just to clarify, all the kernels in the bag? or just the ones that didn’t pop?
ziggyrivers
thunder
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- He/him/his
How has your day been, everyone?
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- he/him
I’ve been better! But I’m optimistic about the future.
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
in the bag total! like. all your corns.
let me put it this way: you get 30 points no matter what, but if you count them all I’ll give you extra no matter what.
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
: - )
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- he/him
I’m optimistic about that direct they’re definitely going to announce tomorrow
OP
OP
- Pronouns
- 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 / 𝖘𝖍𝖊
theguy
Chain Chomp
jheeze sus, there’s like a million of em
abyss i don’t expect a single thank you for this, i got you
for real though i think like 307 is probably the most accurate
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- he/him
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