I don't think it's a y'all. I think it's a "some of y'all".
I'll be doing that. I'll be in line at Gamestop for preorders. If I fail at those, I'll be in front of one Target and put my wife in front of a different Target on launch day - about 3 hours before opening.
I think y'all are ignoring just how important Joycons are. They're not just detachable controllers they're basically every Nintendo controller ever in one. Removing them or baking them into the system completely removes like 3/4s of the ways to play the Nintendo Switch, and would make any motion control game non-playable without an extra controller. It also significantly dwindles the portability of the Switch.
But Nintendo already
has to offer a play option without motion controls for when you’re holding the system altogether for every single game anyway.
Motion controls could still be optional just like they technically are now on Switch Lite.
All a unified form factor does is shift the focus from motion controls being the front-and-center option to being the secondary option.
Nintendo had no problem making an entire 3D Mario around a motion control gimmick and then still letting you play with the Pro controller.
They also had no problem completely reworking Skyward Sword for traditional controller play.
Having motion controls take a backseat while still being optional is probably better for streamlined game development anyway, especially for third parties. If anything, forcing motion controls to take a backseat helps those games reach more people and ensures their backwards compatibility for a future device/PC where motion controls may not be possible at all.
Just look at the evolution of how Pikmin has gone from controller-> motion -> controller to see what I mean.
I think Nintendo realizes motion controls are already secondary in a lot of people’s minds and making them secondary on the device only makes sense.
Nintendo had no problem removing the 3D from the 3DS either.
Letting folks connect joy-cons wirelessly is truly the best of both worlds. You get your optional motion controls on certain games where the developer wanted to support it but everything else just works out of the box without having to find a desk or table.
You’re also afforded the benefit of weightier controls that feel more ergonomic to adult hands.
I don’t think the folks who are so set on joy-cons coming back realize just how many benefits there are to getting rid of them.
It would remove a major failure point that has tarnished Nintendo’s image of sturdy hardware, it would allow for more naturally comfortable controls that don’t feel cramped, it would allow for cheaper production so that other features of the device could be heftier (RAM, storage, screen size, etc.), and all of the benefits of keeping them are conveniently still possible by making existing joy-cons connect wirelessly.