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Film Mario Movie Madness Marathon |ST| An Objective Analysis of the Cinematic Works of Super Mario

Luigi Rating (AKA The Brothers Factor): Luigi is essentially the main charter in this film, which the fool reading this might believe, in their deluded phantasms, is good for the cat of gory. You should be ashamed of yourself. The Bros. In This Movie Methinks Recall Ye Bond Betwixt Prod Papa And Loving Son (Sun (Louis XIV, the Sun King? (Luigi XIV the Son King? (How deep does this go?)))
4/10

Princess Power: One, thats Daisy of Hi I'm Daisy Fame. Where the fuck is Sarasa Land??? Uh, excuuuuuuuuse me princess! Anyways, she's the wrong princess and not a castle in sight (this is possibly a reference to Super Mario Bros. for the Dendy).
3/10

Brand Loyalty: wherefore the ramen, wherefore the furikake??? Yeag, I don't think so, Rocky Morton, if that isn't your real name. The Bomb-ob was game accurate, but that's none of my business...
1/10

Is This a Game?: This ain't no 🎮🥌 10/10

Too Many Levels?: Too many characters played by Mojo Nixon <1>? Perhaps... Anyways, only 20 minute too long, compared to the last movie (61 minutes too long).
5/10

Did They Find Alpha Trion?: More like Alpha Try Harder Next Time, Boys!!!!
0/10

Overall score 23 out of Bod "The Boss" Turgeonson
 
The most recent time I watched this movie, I had a moment where I said... "Wait, did Koopa just try to gouge out Luigi's eyes during that interrogation scene?" Like damn, Koopa, that's some crazy escalation.
 
The most recent time I watched this movie, I had a moment where I said... "Wait, did Koopa just try to gouge out Luigi's eyes during that interrogation scene?" Like damn, Koopa, that's some crazy escalation.

The live action movie has a really weird tone! It can't decide whether it's a kids movie or a weird cyberpunk dystopian piece.

Anyway, Phos and I are at the cinema, ready to watch 2023's all new, all CG, all Minion, The Super Mario Bros. The Movie. This might be Mario's greatest adventure yet...
 
Luigi Rating (AKA The Brothers Factor):

2/10

Princess Power: Girlboss gaslight gatekeep bowser! Slay queen!!!!!
8/10

Brand Loyalty: if you clap when you recognize things, careful not to break your wrists you greedy little hogs
10/10

Is This a Game?: This is yes game 0/10

Too Many Levels?: the last 20 minutes were a grim death march
2/10

Did They Find Alpha Trion?: what do you think!? 20 years in the cubes, creep!
0/10

22 out of I am the law

This movie sucks. I'm sorry if you like, I recommend Celine and Julie Go Boating if you want to see a good movie based on a game*




*what da????!!!
 
Well, we're back from The Super Mario Bros The Movie. My unbiased rating...

Luigi Rating (AKA The Brothers Factor): 2/10. While Mario wants to rescue Luigi for most of the movie, they're hardly together for most of it. What's up with that??

Princess Power: 7/10. Peach uses her gaslight gatekeep girlbossing powers to much effect throughout the film. Would have been perfect if she had gotten the star to beat up Bowser instead. In a brief scene, she steals the thunder of Elsa of Frozen fame. Neat, but I'd rather her stand on her own!

Brand Loyalty: 10/10. This shows perfect deference to Nintendo as a corporate entity. From Kid Icarus to Wave Race references, to the appearance of the character known as "Toad", this is perfectly in line with corporate Nintendo's vision of Mario.

Is This a Game?: 0/10. Clearly a game and not a movie, given the amount of game-like elements that made it into the final film, such as "Dixie Kong" and "Fire Flower".

Too Many Levels?: 3/10. Not a very long movie, but it definitely drags at the end. Would have benefited from some script elements being trimmed and the runtime made shorter, to about an hour 20 with credits.

Did They Find Alpha Trion?: 0/10. I couldn't tell if they were looking. If they were looking, it was in the completely wrong place.

Total: 22

Now, with all three Mario films finished, it's time for us to make our final judgment on which Mario movie is the best... or is it!? There is in fact, one final competitor that we must evaluate... one last contender for the best Mario movie crown... what could it be...???

8cb1c418342d241e2465c654b2674a4e--transformers-g-book-characters.jpg


That's right! It's The Transformers: Season 2: Episode 32: The Search For Alpha Trion!!!! Transform and Roll Out!!!!
 
PXL-20230429-150124629-MP.jpg


Girl robots! Bet nerds were angry about this one

Shockwave, much like nerds, doesn't understand how women can exist

PXL-20230429-150620445.jpg


Alpha Trion!!!!
 
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PXL-20230429-151315698.jpg


A rare, early appearance from Arcee's future GF, Greenlight!

Elita-1 sadly got captured, but she's also still very cool. Now Optimus is looking for Alpha Trion because she used up her lifeforce or something. Also it's completely unsurprising that Starscream is sexist

PXL-20230429-151847855-MP.jpg


I can't believe that they found him...!!! Also love to see Alpha Trion try to save Elita-1 for one second before giving up and saying "I've done what I can do"
 
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Well, that was The Search for Alpha Trion! One of the earliest pieces of Transformers media to have girl robots. And now, for my analysis...

Luigi Rating (AKA The Brothers Factor): 10/10. All of the Autobots are brothers in arms, and their bond is central to resolving the story.

Princess Power: 10/10. Elita-1 and her girlboss execution squad are extremely cool.

Brand Loyalty: 10/10. Extremely loyal to the Hasbro brand, "Transformers".

Is This a Game?: 10/10. Transformers are toys, not games.

Too Many Levels?: 10/10. At a little over 20 minutes, the pacing is perfect. Bravo!

Did They Find Alpha Trion?: 10/10. They not only looked for Alpha Trion, they indeed did find him! At long last...

Overall: 60

With that, the winner is clear... the objectively best Mario movie, by a significant margin is, The Search for Alpha Trion! Congratulations!

images


I don't know about Phos, but I'm tired and sleepy from liquors, so I'm going to go snooze very shortly. Hope anyone reading this had a good time, and gained a new understanding of the cinema of Super Mario. Good night!

AnArceeDay.jpg
 
Luigi Rating (AKA Tw9he Brothers Factor: All autobo are Brothers 10/1p

Princess Power: Yeag, Elita One and compon9y

Brand Loyalty:
10/10. Wow cool robots10/10

Is This a Game?: no they're to>
M10_10x
Too Many Levels?:mor e please 10 of 10
.
Did They Find Alpha Trion: about damn time
L!!! 10 oot 100
 
Luigi Rating (AKA The Brothers Factor): 3/10. There's actually a big focus on Mario and Luigi's bond! However, there's a major problem here. Mario and Luigi are supposed to be brothers. However, in this film, Mario is quite CLEARLY Luigi's father instead. I have to give it some points for having a bond in the first place, but it's simply all wrong.
MILF (Mario is Luigi's Father)
 
I am not fully sure what I just read, but I am glad we got to go on this cinematic journey together. All Hail The Search for Alpha Trion, the ultimate Super Mario adaptation.

I am glad that this thread validates my opinion that Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach is Not Good.
 
imagine doing a marathon of the mario movies and skipping the classic

Super Mario no Shōbōtai and Super Mario no Kōtsū Anzen

duo.
Super_Mario_Traffic_Safety_Box.jpg

they're educational! :) teaching you the basics of fire safety and traffic safety.
 
imagine doing a marathon of the mario movies and skipping the classic

Super Mario no Shōbōtai and Super Mario no Kōtsū Anzen

duo.
Super_Mario_Traffic_Safety_Box.jpg

they're educational! :) teaching you the basics of fire safety and traffic safety.
It looks like Mario is flying the kid into the street.
 
You also the forgot the most immersive cinematic Mario experience yet, the one where he speaks directly to you on the phone!

 
@Racalia , you have a point! But also, I don't want to.

You also the forgot the most immersive cinematic Mario experience yet, the one where he speaks directly to you on the phone!



A Mario experience second only to the Banpresto popcorn machine...
 
This is one of the best threads on this website. It has mario movies, alcohol and Arcee. 15/10.

I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! It was a really fun night. I even remember some of the things I posted in here! It's weird, but I remember a lot more of The Search for Alpha Trion than the new Mario movie...

Phos and I are currently undertaking another cinematic adventure, though it's far too much for one night. Parts of it have been... difficult, but I'm sure we'll both look back on it fondly. Surely.
 
imagine doing a marathon of the mario movies and skipping the classic

Super Mario no Shōbōtai and Super Mario no Kōtsū Anzen

duo.
Super_Mario_Traffic_Safety_Box.jpg

they're educational! :) teaching you the basics of fire safety and traffic safety.
Is mario carrying that kid into oncoming traffic?
 
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@Clov sent me here to observe the prior marathon and I was not disappointed. I don't know why most movie reviewers neglect to bring up the search for Alpha Trion. Y'all are true professionals. Mario is Red Luigi is Green.
 


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