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Fun Club Just for fun: Make a Fake Nintendo Direct Leak!
- Thread starter Derachi
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Last edited:
Yamanoi
I paid $70 for this tag
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Every person who become a HK superfan over the years:
oldpuck
Bob-omb
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- he/they
This is genius, do you wanna pizza?
Quinton
Specialist at TheGamer / Reviewer at RPG Site
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- He/They
So apparently Miyamoto is furious that Nintendo is doing well. He called everyone INCLUDING Mario into his office and told them they’re fired. My source is Taiwanese and admits they may have gotten some of the finer details wrong but apparently this went down on Tuesday. They’re pulling retail copies of Breath of the Wild off of store shelves next week and adding deep discount stickers to Tears of the Kingdom to make it look like it sold poorly.
Miyamoto hates that Nintendo isn’t viewed as the “underdog” anymore (exact word - he said it in English and everything) and he wants Switcheroo to bomb so he can do a comeback story before his 90th anniversary thus cementing his status as an industry icon before 2050 which is when the Super Mario 64 remake codenamed Super Mario 2050 will be out not only on Nintendo hardware but on Sony and PC. That’s right, Nintendo is going third party. But not until 2048.
Xenoblade Chronicles X is canceled. Let me be clear. This is the game that already exists. There was a lot of infighting about the newly-released Xenoblade Chronicles 3 artbook which led to this decision. Miyamoto is miffed because it’s taking attention away from the excellent Howard Lincoln career analysis post on Famiboards and he’s scheduled a meeting with Soraya Saga to discuss an “intervention” with her husband. He’s also going after Nate the Hate but my source says it’s because Nate owes him five dollars.
I can’t promise they won’t find me but I did this for you. Last surprise: ILCA is remaking Game Freak.
Miyamoto hates that Nintendo isn’t viewed as the “underdog” anymore (exact word - he said it in English and everything) and he wants Switcheroo to bomb so he can do a comeback story before his 90th anniversary thus cementing his status as an industry icon before 2050 which is when the Super Mario 64 remake codenamed Super Mario 2050 will be out not only on Nintendo hardware but on Sony and PC. That’s right, Nintendo is going third party. But not until 2048.
Xenoblade Chronicles X is canceled. Let me be clear. This is the game that already exists. There was a lot of infighting about the newly-released Xenoblade Chronicles 3 artbook which led to this decision. Miyamoto is miffed because it’s taking attention away from the excellent Howard Lincoln career analysis post on Famiboards and he’s scheduled a meeting with Soraya Saga to discuss an “intervention” with her husband. He’s also going after Nate the Hate but my source says it’s because Nate owes him five dollars.
I can’t promise they won’t find me but I did this for you. Last surprise: ILCA is remaking Game Freak.
kasparov77
Moblin
- Pronouns
- he/him
Koizumi appears
"Hello minna-san. Today we have a special presentation for you.
We talked with our partners and decided it's time for the switch platform to finally make other consoles pointless.
Yes, you heard that right: we are planning on porting your favorite niche games to the switch so you don't have to buy a playstation or god forbid, a steam deck.
Please, take a look:
screen transition
The "YAKUZA TRILOGY" title appears, with kiryu playing the karaoke rhythm game on his switch
screen fades to black
Koizumi starts speaking again
"We heard the Yakuza team at SEGA didn't feel like porting their games to our platform because of how they "didn't fit" our "family friendly" line of handhelds.
So after extensive negotiation attempts to bring Kiryu and his pals to the switch, we decided to hire some thugs and force Nagoshi to do our bidding and show him who the REAL Yakuza is.
another transition, now this time showing the title "GTA FIVE"
"So, we tried multiple times convincing them to bring this title to our platform, and although none of our attempts were successful, as the developers kept saying there wouldn't be much money to be made due to how they couldn't bring online features properly, we asked if they could bring GTA V in arabic numbers instead. And well, for some reason we got a reply this time! We don't know how but you can now expect GTA FIVE to drop on Nintendo switch soon(ish)".
screen fades away and transitions once again, this time to a guy in a black and green jacket with the NVIDIA logo
"Hey guys, I work at NVIDIA lightspeed studios. I heard you guys were happy with our portal 1&2 ports. We also heard how some of you were disappointed that the Left 4 dead and Half life series didn't make the cut, which led to some of you thinking it was a conspiracy from valve to get you to buy a steam deck. Well, we are here to say that's not true! well, at least that's what's written in my script. Anyways, as an apology we are releasing the orange-ish box collection on nintendo switch with the original half life games and left 4 dead duology. We're also bringing metal gear rising to the platform because we're THAT sorry".
screen fades to black and transitions to the KONAMI logo followed by... the BEMANI logo??
(mimi starts speaking)
What's pop'n gamers? We are here to announce that we're bringing our new rhythm game console release: "Pop'n Music Portable 3" to the Nintendo switch. After watching my friend Nyami playing those disgusting mobile gacha rhythm games on her phone I felt like zoomers nowadays have no idea what a TRUE rhythm game is.
That's why we decided to bring the GOAT back. Sony took too long to release a portable that wouldn't flop so we decided the switch was the ideal platform. After 28 rounds of sake our team managed to convince our upper management to greenlight the project.
It was the only way, when they're sober the only thing they care about is arcade machines.
Well, that's it everyone thanks for listening.
screen fades to black one more time, now transitioning to a early ps2-era 3d model of a guitarrist
a scream can be heard: "AAAAALL ABOOOARD"
crazy train starts playing, the title "GUITAR HERO CLASSIC COLLECTION" is announced
the screen fades one last time, back to Koizumi:
Did you guys like it? well, we have one more announcement: 2025 will be the year of our next platform transition. We are contacting partners at sega, capcom, bandai namco, square and others to bring even more titles to our platform.
But for now, you can expect the following titles on our next platform:
"Hello minna-san. Today we have a special presentation for you.
We talked with our partners and decided it's time for the switch platform to finally make other consoles pointless.
Yes, you heard that right: we are planning on porting your favorite niche games to the switch so you don't have to buy a playstation or god forbid, a steam deck.
Please, take a look:
screen transition
The "YAKUZA TRILOGY" title appears, with kiryu playing the karaoke rhythm game on his switch
screen fades to black
Koizumi starts speaking again
"We heard the Yakuza team at SEGA didn't feel like porting their games to our platform because of how they "didn't fit" our "family friendly" line of handhelds.
So after extensive negotiation attempts to bring Kiryu and his pals to the switch, we decided to hire some thugs and force Nagoshi to do our bidding and show him who the REAL Yakuza is.
another transition, now this time showing the title "GTA FIVE"
"So, we tried multiple times convincing them to bring this title to our platform, and although none of our attempts were successful, as the developers kept saying there wouldn't be much money to be made due to how they couldn't bring online features properly, we asked if they could bring GTA V in arabic numbers instead. And well, for some reason we got a reply this time! We don't know how but you can now expect GTA FIVE to drop on Nintendo switch soon(ish)".
screen fades away and transitions once again, this time to a guy in a black and green jacket with the NVIDIA logo
"Hey guys, I work at NVIDIA lightspeed studios. I heard you guys were happy with our portal 1&2 ports. We also heard how some of you were disappointed that the Left 4 dead and Half life series didn't make the cut, which led to some of you thinking it was a conspiracy from valve to get you to buy a steam deck. Well, we are here to say that's not true! well, at least that's what's written in my script. Anyways, as an apology we are releasing the orange-ish box collection on nintendo switch with the original half life games and left 4 dead duology. We're also bringing metal gear rising to the platform because we're THAT sorry".
screen fades to black and transitions to the KONAMI logo followed by... the BEMANI logo??
(mimi starts speaking)
What's pop'n gamers? We are here to announce that we're bringing our new rhythm game console release: "Pop'n Music Portable 3" to the Nintendo switch. After watching my friend Nyami playing those disgusting mobile gacha rhythm games on her phone I felt like zoomers nowadays have no idea what a TRUE rhythm game is.
That's why we decided to bring the GOAT back. Sony took too long to release a portable that wouldn't flop so we decided the switch was the ideal platform. After 28 rounds of sake our team managed to convince our upper management to greenlight the project.
It was the only way, when they're sober the only thing they care about is arcade machines.
Well, that's it everyone thanks for listening.
screen fades to black one more time, now transitioning to a early ps2-era 3d model of a guitarrist
a scream can be heard: "AAAAALL ABOOOARD"
crazy train starts playing, the title "GUITAR HERO CLASSIC COLLECTION" is announced
the screen fades one last time, back to Koizumi:
Did you guys like it? well, we have one more announcement: 2025 will be the year of our next platform transition. We are contacting partners at sega, capcom, bandai namco, square and others to bring even more titles to our platform.
But for now, you can expect the following titles on our next platform:
- Persona 3 Reload
- Metaphor Refantazio
- Final fantasy XIV
- Final fantasy remake
- GTA 6
- Monster Hunter Wilds
Colonel_Kerfuffle
Elmer Fudd X Grilled Cheese = Best Ship Ever
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- He/Him/His
Here's my attempt
Andre3333456
Moblin
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- He/Him
Nintendo Direct mini leak!!!!
- Super-Duper Mario Party - Now you can play up to 8 players in this game!
- Fire Emblem Genealogy of the Holy War HD - A classic game now available on the Nintendo Switch with HD visuals and 2D sprites. Note: this is the original FE4 game in a HD-2D style.
- Splatoon 3 Amiibo - Pearl and Maria are getting two more new amiibo, a final big multiplayer update is coming later in this summer!
- Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan: Elite collection - The first three Ouendan games are now getting rereleased internationally with remade visuals and now with joy con pointer controls on docked mode and classic touch controls on handheld mode.
- Metroid Prime 4 - Now coming in 2025.
