Mellifluus
Cappy
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hi. I know that this is not the best way to engage in a new forum...
Been lurking for a year or so I think, specially reading ToTK related discussions and theories (I loved how thoughful well writen the posts from Serif were)
I have been dealing with depression now for ten years, since I was 17 basically, now recently turned 27. Things have been up and down with no mental peace in between. I haven't had a single month where I have felt "at home" with myself. I have been bullied since I was little so I have body and facial image issues that I think at this point I will never recover from. I don't think anybody wants to deal with this or a lack of confidence, so at times I'm close to giving up... My family is also fed up with all this crap and I don't think I will be tolerated for much longer if think doesn't change.
There's a lot, A LOT more to this whole thing but I don't want to delve too much into this whole deal here, but yeah... I'm not doing well.
I joined this site to make myself more "visible" (this is a niche forum I know) and try If I can have a fraction of peace of mind at least when posting and interacting with others. Don't think this will change a thing, but I thought It wouldn't hurt to try.
I'm going to Japan this august and will stay there nearly all the month. With an online friend I have barely seen (but talked a lot). I am excited for this, but also worrying about fucking things up due to having a shit mood for the travel. Maybe when I'm there my mood will improve and I will be able to enjoy myself, it's not like I'm a "joyless" person, it's just that my self-steem is so crap I sometimes can not think about other nice things out there, due to not feeling worthy of it.
Did anyone have a similar experience? Like worrying before an important event and then being able to fully enjoy it? It wont be relatable due to the special circumstances of my situation but I would love reading you. Also, did any of you go to Japan? if so, what are your most beautiful memories moments there? What do you recommend visiting and doing there, personally?
I know that this is a weird first post, and sorry if it's innapropiate. Also I'm from Spain and english is totally not my first language lol, sorry in advance
I wish all of you a good week
Been lurking for a year or so I think, specially reading ToTK related discussions and theories (I loved how thoughful well writen the posts from Serif were)
I have been dealing with depression now for ten years, since I was 17 basically, now recently turned 27. Things have been up and down with no mental peace in between. I haven't had a single month where I have felt "at home" with myself. I have been bullied since I was little so I have body and facial image issues that I think at this point I will never recover from. I don't think anybody wants to deal with this or a lack of confidence, so at times I'm close to giving up... My family is also fed up with all this crap and I don't think I will be tolerated for much longer if think doesn't change.
There's a lot, A LOT more to this whole thing but I don't want to delve too much into this whole deal here, but yeah... I'm not doing well.
I joined this site to make myself more "visible" (this is a niche forum I know) and try If I can have a fraction of peace of mind at least when posting and interacting with others. Don't think this will change a thing, but I thought It wouldn't hurt to try.
I'm going to Japan this august and will stay there nearly all the month. With an online friend I have barely seen (but talked a lot). I am excited for this, but also worrying about fucking things up due to having a shit mood for the travel. Maybe when I'm there my mood will improve and I will be able to enjoy myself, it's not like I'm a "joyless" person, it's just that my self-steem is so crap I sometimes can not think about other nice things out there, due to not feeling worthy of it.
Did anyone have a similar experience? Like worrying before an important event and then being able to fully enjoy it? It wont be relatable due to the special circumstances of my situation but I would love reading you. Also, did any of you go to Japan? if so, what are your most beautiful memories moments there? What do you recommend visiting and doing there, personally?
I know that this is a weird first post, and sorry if it's innapropiate. Also I'm from Spain and english is totally not my first language lol, sorry in advance
I wish all of you a good week