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Fun Club Let's share anecdotes of the bullshit we got up to as kids

Aurc

Aurc

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When I entered 6th grade around the age of 10, my grandpa would pick me up from school, and I'd stay at his place for a few hours until my mom got off work. Thing is, I found his place unbearably boring, so I had to find creative ways to entertain myself. These included:

  • Going into his fridge, grabbing a few eggs, and running outside to throw them at the windows of the adjacent apartment building. Weirdest thing was, they'd never clean it up! There'd still be egg residue left on the windows weeks later.

  • Grabbing as many random liquids as possible (bug spray, bathroom cleaner, lotion, cologne, cooking oil) and combining them into an unholy concoction, which I would put into a bottle and keep in a drawer. I thought I was "doing science"! I don't remember what I used this mixture for, but I'd just flush it down the toilet upon getting bored with it.

  • The landlord kept a locked shed out back. Kid me was curious as to what marvelous treasures awaited him, so I broke the lock one day, and... it was full of dusty old garbage. Big surprise. That, and boxes of brand new golf balls. I didn't want my efforts to go to waste, so I filled a backpack with golf balls, and later gifted them to my dad.

It's a wonder I never got seriously injured, or at least my ass beat by an adult. Share your stories of childhood mischief and outright stupidity!
 
Me and my best friend would wear cargo pants, go to books a million and barns and noble and fill our pockets with manga. I used to feel guilty about it, but nah, I got to read a bunch of cool comics. We both turned out to be trans btw. Yeag.
 
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Phosphorescent Skeleton said:
Me and my best friend would wear cargo pants, go to books a million and barns and noble and fill our pockets with manga. I used to feel guilty about it, but nah, I got to read a bunch of cool comics. We both turned out to be trans btw. Yeag.
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That's brilliant! Good thinking with the cargo pants. Y'all were just kids, and it ain't like you were stealing from a mom 'n pop. Me reminiscing about my dumb childhood theft is actually what prompted this thread's creation. I didn't really wear cargo pants, so I'd usually just shove a book or two down the front of my jeans. I stole a volume of Naruto that way once.
 
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I'm just gonna kinda drop my anecdotes in here as they come to mind, so here's a couple more. Much of what I share has to do with being a shoplifting little shit. Regrettably, I wasn't exactly an upstanding kid.

  • I'd get hungry while at the supermarket, so I'd open packs of pizza Lunchables and steal their pepperoni, eating as I walked through the aisles.

  • I really wanted Kingdom Hearts II, but mom said no to buying it for me. I was once at Fry's Electronics (RIP) with my dad, and I saw KH2 on the shelf. Problem was, it had a plastic anti-theft housing over it. I was determined to nab this game, so I went into the bathroom and slammed it on the ground a bunch of times in an effort to break the housing. It didn't work, so I angrily left it in the toilet seat cover dispenser. To this day, I've still never played KH2.
 
So this is some mild shit, but when we were kids, a friend and I did some ding-dong ditching at one specific neighbor on a pretty regular basis because he was a legitimate asshole and had it coming. We grew up in a small village, so the list of possible culprits was not that long, but he never actually saw us or managed to catch us. He treated kids especially in a pretty shitty way (like, not handing back stray balls that went over his fence and whatnot), so he hated all of us anyway. Your typical old grump.

One afternoon, he must have had enough of it, and came running and screaming after us. We managed to climb on a nearby tree and he was frantically looking around the general vicinity, but couldn't spot us, and was cursing god and the earth for not being able to find us. All while we were sitting up there, hardly able to keep it together.

We spent close to an hour on that tree before he finally gave up looking for us.
 
—taking cookies out of the self serve bins at the grocery store and eating them while my mom was grocery shopping, because I was hungry. I would also do this if I was riding my bike somewhere near the store because I never had any money

—trying to get ants to take rice krispies because I was convinced they would starve otherwise

—trying to make little holes for earthworms if I saw them out and about while my mom planted things, so they wouldn’t immediately get eaten by birds

—chasing robins and blue jays around because I wanted to pet one. The blue jays would kinda almost play along for a little while before they went to a tree branch and yelled so maybe they were playing along and having fun before it got annoying?
 
Sailor Moon said:
—trying to get ants to take rice krispies because I was convinced they would starve otherwise
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I love this so much ❤️

This came to mind first: one night in the summer my friends and I went to a school to use the basketball courts. Then we got bored of basketball and propped one of those huge metal school bike racks up vertically and kicked it over, producing maybe the loudest sound I have ever heard to this day. Every light in the neighbourhood turned on, and probably more than one person called the cops. We were like completely and utterly cornered by them in a park, hiding in the bushes. I distinctly remember one shining their flashlight directly onto my legs and shoes but I guess they didn't see, because we got away scott free lol.
 
I used to tool around my friends' neighborhood with a universal TV remote.

We would get up to other hijinks involving an abandoned quarry but messing with the neighbors was new and uncharted territory.
 
My father once told me that computers can get overheated, so after that I started checking the temperature of the one we had at my house, and one day, after several hours of usage, it felt a tad too hot to the touch, and so my brilliant young self deducted that the interior needed some ice to cool off. Went to the fridge, grabbed several small pieces, and proceeded to pour them through the ventilation grills.

I then told my mother very proudly that I saved our computer from certain destruction, but, to my surprise, she didn't like the news. Something else happened afterwards but my butt starts hurting from the memories xP
 
I was a very boring/anxious child who was raised to follow the rules so I don't really have any stories of me getting up to stuff from what I can remember. Like maybe the most "naughty" thing I did was once sneaking into my neighbours garden to get my ball back, and that was genuinely very scary to me haha.

However, I do have a memory of me being a little dumb shit who somehow snapped his disk of The Sims 2 so I tried to fix it by sellotaping it back together lol.
 
Kingpin Rogers said:
I was a very boring/anxious child who was raised to follow the rules so I don't really have any stories of me getting up to stuff from what I can remember. Like maybe the most "naughty" thing I did was once sneaking into my neighbours garden to get my ball back, and that was genuinely very scary to me haha.
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Are you me? 🤣
 
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