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Fun Club Festivus 2023 Airing of Nintendo Grievances Thread - Read OP Rules Before Posting

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I got to tell Nintendo directly(!) today their end of the year wrap up needed more numbers and we need the activity log back so I did my part there!

For this thread, we got some good ones here already. So I’ll echo a few and throw in some of mine.

New Fortune Street Please!!!

New 2D Zelda And New Multiplayer Zelda Please!!!

Let me buy retro VC games again and honor past purchases! (Subscription services suck!)

Let me buy Super Mario RPG on Switch. Add NSO save states and rewind, but otherwise don’t touch it! Make Super Mario RPG 2 next!

Mother 3, come on, please, you know you want to.

Port those big final Wii U games: Xenoblade X, Wooly World, Color Splash, and the Zeldas.

Make an IR sensor bar accessory for Switch to bring back more Wii games like Sin and Punishment 2, Super Mario Galaxy 2, and the Metroid Prime Trilogy collection. Make Sin and Punishment 3 next!
 
This has kind of turned into a wishlist thread which has a very different energy than we had at the start but I'm here for it.

My major pipe dream Wii U port would be some adaptation of Splatoon. It's an important part of what has become a big series on Nintendo Switch.

Similarly, I am once again asking to play Pikmin and Pikmin 2 on Nintendo Switch before Pikmin 4 comes out. Please, Nintendo, give us Pikmin 1+2.
 
Raccoon said:
This has kind of turned into a wishlist thread which has a very different energy than we had at the start but I'm here for it.

My major pipe dream Wii U port would be some adaptation of Splatoon. It's an important part of what has become a big series on Nintendo Switch.

Similarly, I am once again asking to play Pikmin and Pikmin 2 on Nintendo Switch before Pikmin 4 comes out. Please, Nintendo, give us Pikmin 1+2.
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The wishlist way is the quieter/nicer way of saying how dare you that this still is not a thing lol.

I wish they had ported the first Splatoon campaign to Switch, would have been a great $20 or whatever DLC thing for Splatoon 2 or could have worked standalone. I also agree we need Pikmin 1 + 2 on Switch. I really wish we had Pikmin 2’s co-op mode back on Switch especially.
 
Why in the world do you not listen to all my absolutely brilliant ideas, Nintendo? How very dare you‽
 
Raccoon said:
This has kind of turned into a wishlist thread which has a very different energy than we had at the start but I'm here for it.

My major pipe dream Wii U port would be some adaptation of Splatoon. It's an important part of what has become a big series on Nintendo Switch.

Similarly, I am once again asking to play Pikmin and Pikmin 2 on Nintendo Switch before Pikmin 4 comes out. Please, Nintendo, give us Pikmin 1+2.
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I mean
I have non-wishlist grievances but they feel selfish and weird so I guess I just defaulted to the more culturally acceptable path of focusing on consumerism, which is I guess a whole conversation in and of itself 🤔
 
I just want Nintendo to do something with TTYD. For the love of god, I need it.

An HD port would be great. A full remake in Origami King's engine would have me frothing at the mouth. I am begging you, Nintendo.

The game deserves to see the light of day once again.
 
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I got a lot of problems with you, Nintendo... and now you're gonna hear about it!

My fami tells me that your online system stinks!
Your sports games have so little meat, they'd leave a vegetarian wanting!
Your post-release support makes conservatives' child support policy look good!
The components in your joycons are so bad, every EPD 8 game might as well be called Tokyo Drift!
The eShop and the NSO app are so slow... I've lost my train of thought.

Raccoon said:
This has kind of turned into a wishlist thread which has a very different energy than we had at the start but I'm here for it.
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How it started:
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How it's going:
5e023e68954bda50537c7e05
 
Okay I'll bring a spicy grievance. Nintendo games are too hetrosexual. And no, "but it's a family friendly game! Nobody is banging!" doesn't excuse steeping your whole game in hetronormativity.
 
The joycon suck and are your ticket to carpal tunnel syndrome. The build quality sucks, and the ergonomics suck. I’m tired of looking for third party options just because you want to sell people extra $70 controllers which also have terrible d-pads and stick drift.

y’all had this right 20 years ago with the GameCube and you just flushed your rep for build quality down the toilet for the sake of saving a few yen/cents/insert currency of choice here. Remember “Nintendium?” Nintendo sure don’t. We all know you refuse to lose money on the hardware, you have more money than God, do better ffs

don’t get me started on how terrible and massively out of date your approach to save backup and internet features in general are
 
Nintendo, you couldn’t smooth a silk sheet even if you had a hot date with a babe….


…I’ve lost my train of thought.
 
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VegiHam said:
Okay I'll bring a spicy grievance. Nintendo games are too hetrosexual. And no, "but it's a family friendly game! Nobody is banging!" doesn't excuse steeping your whole game in hetronormativity.
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This is true and the lack of minority representation in general is a major grievance with Nintendo. You can sort of tell that some of the teams that maybe have more young staff want to be more progressive and have more diversity but the organization as a whole is too conservative for those ideas to get institutional buy-in.
 
Sailor Moon said:
y’all had this right 20 years ago with the GameCube and you just flushed your rep for build quality down the toilet for the sake of saving a few yen/cents/insert currency of choice here.
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I can't yeah this one because all four of my GameCube controllers from back then actually drift. I'm not sure why it's not more widespread, but I've actually had better luck with Joy-Cons (though that's not likely to last, and the GameCube controllers took longer to present issues).
 
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Sailor Moon said:
The joycon suck and are your ticket to carpal tunnel syndrome. The build quality sucks, and the ergonomics suck. I’m tired of looking for third party options just because you want to sell people extra $70 controllers which also have terrible d-pads and stick drift.

y’all had this right 20 years ago with the GameCube and you just flushed your rep for build quality down the toilet for the sake of saving a few yen/cents/insert currency of choice here. Remember “Nintendium?” Nintendo sure don’t. We all know you refuse to lose money on the hardware, you have more money than God, do better ffs

don’t get me started on how terrible and massively out of date your approach to save backup and internet features in general are
Click to expand...
The WiiU gamepad is the only Nintendo controller ever to be big enough to not kill my wrists when holding it for long periods of time. It also never got stick drift, and having both sticks on top was so comfortable for me.

And it's the one Nintendo controller that isn't in some way compatible with Switch.

Nintendo hates my wrists.
 
HEY NINTENDO

HOW ABOUT YOU HIRE SOME ACTUAL MAP DESIGNERS FOR SPLATOON 3???

The current ones are AI generated shapes at best. So bland and annoying
 
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Oy Nintendo

- Gimme Buddy Mission Bond or what the fudge it’s called I want to plaaaaay it

- While you are at it, just give me a trophy/achievement system. Give it a Nintendo spin. Call it stamps, accomplishments or whatever. Just make people addicted to your eco system. Its a win win situation.
 
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Damn, I am late for the Airing of Grievances. Has the head of the household been pinned during the Feats of Strength? If not, then it's still Festivus, so I can get my grievances in.

Get your shit together when it comes to the Mario Sports games, Nintendo.

Plus, don't make me wait another twenty years for a new Metroid sidescroller. If Sakamoto is not already hard at work in producing Metroid 6, then you are seriously screwing it all up.

Finally, have you freaking forgotten 2-D Zelda is a thing and that its gameplay is distinctive enough for it to coexist with 3-D Zelda games? What the hell are you waiting for to give us another one of these? And I don't mean a damn remake, it has to be something original! Remakes are their own thing.
 
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