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Fun Club Festivus 2023 Airing of Nintendo Grievances Thread - Read OP Rules Before Posting

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Barely Able

Barely Able

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Today is December 23rd, which means it is official Festivus. As is tradition, the airing of grievances occurs after Festivus dinner. Since I’m not feeding you all, we will have a mostly full day for airing of Nintendo grievances.

Complain away, but please observe the following rules:

-Respect legitimate complaints. Although the thread is intended to be fun, there might be legitimate complaints on things such as Nintendo’s labor practices and representation issues. Don’t dismiss those. Follow the rules of the forum and we should be ok.

-Disagreement is fine, but don’t antagonize or belittle other posters. If I say that Nintendo is dumb for making so many Star Fox games that are repeats of 64, but it’s your favorite game, explain to me why I am wrong rather than yelling at me.

-No feats of strength allowed here. Don’t challenge anyone to a wrestling match. This is a digital forum so I don’t even know how that would be possible.

I will ask the mods to close this thread tomorrow so it stays Festivus only.

festvus-airing.gif
 
sell me some fucking hardware nintendo you stupid pieces of shit

if those dumb fuckers make me play pikmin 4k at 900p I will throw my switch into a lake (after finishing pikmin 4)
 
Nintendo you fuckers I am begging you to join the 21st century with regards to your digital ecosystem and services


even if you don't it's not like I don't invest almost all my games budget and time into Nintendo's platform, digitally
 
wait, I have a better one

let pokemon have cloud saves for fuck's sake. why the hell are they prioritizing curtailing bad actors over helping dumb little kids (and my adult sister) when they spill shit on their nintendo? get over yourselves assholes no one wants to cheat at your buggy ps2 game that bad
 
Yes, Square Enix makes the games, but I can’t imagine if Nintendo approached them to make a new Fortune Street for Switch with the Mario characters again, they would have said no. Why hasn’t this happened yet, WHO IS STOPPING THIS? I would buy the game, I would buy the game on release day, I would buy the DLC season pass before even knowing what it was, JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN ALREADY!
 
Raccoon said:
wait, I have a better one

let pokemon have cloud saves for fuck's sake. why the hell are they prioritizing curtailing bad actors over helping dumb little kids (and my adult sister) when they spill shit on their nintendo? get over yourselves assholes no one wants to cheat at your buggy ps2 game that bad
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Yes, THIS
 
Please make the eshop run like it isn’t powered by coal, Nintendo. And get better at an array of accessibility options for first party games, there’s no reason not to.
 
why do all the Switch controllers get stick drift. I'm using 20 year old GCN controllers on this thing because even the pro controller has this problem
 
I'm continuing to be a single-issue voter complainer: release more of your soundtracks Nintendo! We're never gonna see the MK8D DLC music get a release and that pisses me off to no end. No Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity release is gonna happen. Kirby: Forgotten Kingdom might get one from HAL but who knows. Just release more music! Especially on digital services and not Japan-only CD imports.

Xenoblade 3 gets a pass because Yasunori Mitsuda said he's working on it and he can take all the time he needs to make it brilliant.
 
Why the hell is Rhythm Heaven not on Switch yet Nintendo? Remember how you marketed the DS one for everyone? Would be a great idea on the Switch with its huge userbase.
 
If there is a single mobile device in the promotion for online services when the Switch 2 is finally announced I'm gonna lose my shit.

and not in the good way.
 
MSnap said:
Put Xenoblade X on Switch, cowards
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Can we second grievances? Because I'm seconding this.

Toad King said:
Xenoblade 3 gets a pass because Yasunori Mitsuda said he's working on it and he can take all the time he needs to make it brilliant.
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Seconding this, too.

Please put a damn shopping cart on the eShop ffs. When yall do a good sale it becomes so annoying to go through the same multi-click, multi-page process for each friggin game. Let me bundle the five or six games I'm buying together (even though I shouldn't be) and let me click and pay once, with one email confirmation instead of balling up my inbox.
 
Going out of hibernation to vent about my issue with Nintendo's handing of their legacy content, the shutting down of the 3ds and wii u eshops and taking time for certain old stuff to come over. Just wish Nintendo handle their legacy better
 
Toad King said:
I'm continuing to be a single-issue voter complainer: release more of your soundtracks Nintendo! We're never gonna see the MK8D DLC music get a release and that pisses me off to no end. No Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity release is gonna happen. Kirby: Forgotten Kingdom might get one from HAL but who knows. Just release more music! Especially on digital services and not Japan-only CD imports.

Xenoblade 3 gets a pass because Yasunori Mitsuda said he's working on it and he can take all the time he needs to make it brilliant.
Click to expand...
This is my big one. Nintendo could legitimately have their own streaming service for soundtracks and people would buy them. No reason to not at least have digital purchase options. And stop DMCA-ing YouTube channels that don’t even monetize your music.
 
Jahranimo said:
If there is a single mobile device in the promotion for online services when the Switch 2 is finally announced I'm gonna lose my shit.

and not in the good way.
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I’ll allow this if it’s “we are making Nintendo Jack Box as the pack-in”. But that’s it.
 
I love this thread. Nintendo fans hate Nintendo so much.

Give me a way to voice chat with friends while using only the Switch device itself. If it means I need to buy some console specific headset so be it - I use a Steelseries on my XSX and would happily buy another.

Edit:
Jahranimo said:
If there is a single mobile device in the promotion for online services when the Switch 2 is finally announced I'm gonna lose my shit.

and not in the good way.
Click to expand...

Basically yea. Except I do enjoy the supplementary app for Splatoon 3 so hard to make a blanket statement around mobile usage
 
Barely Able said:
I’ll allow this if it’s “we are making Nintendo Jack Box as the pack-in”. But that’s it.
Click to expand...

That's actually a brilliant idea! You never know...

karmitt said:
I love this thread. Nintendo fans hate Nintendo so much.

Give me a way to voice chat with friends while using only the Switch device itself. If it means I need to buy some console specific headset so be it - I use a Steelseries on my XSX and would happily buy another.

Edit:


Basically yea. Except I do enjoy the supplementary app for Splatoon 3 so hard to make a blanket statement around mobile usage
Click to expand...

Yes and I do agree. I probably should specify I don't have a problem with the companion apps within the NSO app like the Splatoon ones. Those are cool.

Just the voice chat being on the app always annoyed me. I know why they decided to do that by this point but at the same time they can do better.
 
Can I have a dpad that doesn’t suck?

I know I’m asking for a lot, especially since y’all literally fucking invented the damn things; but I’d really appreciate it
 
karmitt said:
I love this thread. Nintendo fans hate Nintendo so much.

Give me a way to voice chat with friends while using only the Switch device itself. If it means I need to buy some console specific headset so be it - I use a Steelseries on my XSX and would happily buy another.

Edit:


Basically yea. Except I do enjoy the supplementary app for Splatoon 3 so hard to make a blanket statement around mobile usage
Click to expand...
I feel like a hell of a lot of the ‘grievances’ in this thread are pretty reasonable requests though :D
 
How long of a list can I make?

  • Nintendo - moar power, it's time in 2023, or at the very least H1 2024
  • Nintendo - Faster and actually usuable E-shop - it's so so bad and slow
  • Nintendo - Achievements, I kind of want it. If it's nicely done it adds value (yeah not everyone thinks so but I do)
  • Nintendo - Donkey, where is he?! Show him som respect
  • Nintendo - 2D Mario - C'mon now, it's a cash cow
  • Nintendo - Get a Monolith and Platinum Games colab, and do it STAT
  • Nintendo - just get a proper communication system, your current attempt is laughable
  • Nintendo - Hey, where's that activit lag, your current attempt is worse than laughable
  • Nintendo - And finally, get that Star Tropics reboot going. Why would you treat your golden boy like that
 
0
Keep the double coins for eshop buys for people who are subbed to the expansion pack thing, I dont see why this shouldn't be an all the time thing. It's literally money that is tied to your digital store and just kill the expiration dates on them while you are at it. It sucks if you don't check up on that stuff and lose that money. Also for retail buys if you don't buy it within a year you get no coins, that's just trash to me. lol

please bring back vouchers for the US
 
0
Seriously, please just release Advance Wars. It’s a stupid cartoony tabletop war game, I refuse to believe it could be any worse than Activision releasing realistic military shooters that actually glorify war.
 
Well, we've only been on Christams break for 3 hours and I'm, drunk already lol. But what I have to say is FUCK nintendo for abandoning the home console market forever, and for doing it in such a way as most peopel haven't even noticed. You ask someone "would Nintendo make their next console home only" and they'll laugh at you. But that very same person will tell you that Nintendo hasn't given up on the home console market. Fucking... apeals.

Was it the right call for them financially and for their future>? Of course it was. But does it make me super, super disappointed, disoreignted. Yeah it does. And sad, too.

Ultimately, though, I think that what I think this is all about is that I just want to be a teenager again, feeling that sense of awe at new tech, new design paradigms. It's not about Nintendo. Just that ability to feel newness again. To not feel like newness itself is old. How can what's new be old? I don't want to be a jaded 40 year odl. But that's where the chips have fallen (or will do shortly).

Honestly, it's all Nintendo's fault.

Hyappy festivus.
 
0
Where the fuck is Mario.

Odyssey was 2017. The last non-Maker 2D Mario game was New Super Mario Bros. U. Bowser's Fury was an appetizer, when the hell are we getting the main course?
YoboD said:
Seriously, please just release Advance Wars. It’s a stupid cartoony tabletop war game, I refuse to believe it could be any worse than Activision releasing realistic military shooters that actually glorify war.
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100% this

It's cartoon strategy game that might as well be about children playing with toys

Fucking release it already jfc. At least put it on the eShop
 
I love how 95% of these grievances are essentially, "I'm mad that Nintendo won't let me give them more of my money!" How sad. (Mario Superstars DLC please Nintendo)

As for my grievance: Nintendo, stop trying to make your sports games follow in Splatoon's footsteps. Splatoon's content roll out strategy only works for Splatoon. Treat Mario Sports games like Mario Kart: give people a complete game now and add more stuff to it later if it's successful.
 
How salty am I allowed to be? I think Raccoon's initial post did well to set the tone, so I'm gonna go off a little. Most of these are admittedly just the usual boring complaints though, haha. I'll come back if I think of less common ones.

• I don't care one bit about any Mario sports spinoff. Give me my boomer IPs, like Punch-Out!! and Wario Land. They have zero representation on the Switch.
• If, after all this anticipation, it becomes clear that Metroid Prime 4 was shackled by the Switch's mid hardware, I'm going to be pretty annoyed. Thankfully, Retro's pedigree speaks for itself, so I'm not too worried about this.
• Dropping support for Animal Crossing: New Horizons after Happy Home Paradise was pretty stupid of them. This is one of your most successful games, what the hell are you doing?
• Nintendo is the grandparent of the gaming industry. Though they may be wise, and have lived a life full of accomplishment, they're consistently behind the times in regards to so many things. Seriously, why are friend codes still a thing? We'd had enough of them over a decade ago! Sony and Microsoft solved this problem in 2005/6!
• The latest Pokémon games are an embarrassment in the visual department. "Looks like a PS2 game" has never been more apt.
 
Aurc said:
How salty am I allowed to be? I think Raccoon's post did well to set the tone, so I'm gonna go off a little. Most of these are admittedly just the usual boring complaints though, haha. I'll come back if I think of less common ones.

• I don't care one bit about any Mario sports spinoff. Give me my boomer IPs, like Punch-Out!! and Wario Land. They have zero representation on the Switch.
• If, after all this anticipation, it becomes clear that Metroid Prime 4 was shackled by the Switch's mid hardware, I'm going to be pretty annoyed. Thankfully, Retro's pedigree speaks for itself, so I'm not too worried about this.
• Dropping support for Animal Crossing: New Horizons after Happy Home Paradise was pretty stupid of them. This is one of your most successful games, what the hell are you doing?
• Nintendo is the grandparent of the gaming industry. Though they may be wise, and have lived a life full of accomplishment, they're consistently behind the times in regards to so many things. Seriously, why are friend codes still a thing? We'd had enough of them over a decade ago! Sony and Microsoft solved this problem in 2005/6!
• The latest Pokémon games are an embarrassment in the visual department. "Looks like a PS2 game" has never been more apt.
Click to expand...

Love it all. Go off.

Animal Crossing NH will forever be remembered as a gross missed opportunity. Any other company would have tried to pivot and do more with it. Nintendo felt like they ignored its success and stayed the course, despite admitting that it exceeded it’s expected lifetime sales in like a month (?)

As for Metroid Prime 4, with any luck it’ll still take advantage of the new hardware when played there.
 
I don't have a lot of grievances with Nintendo to air — we've been getting so many dream projects like New Pokémon Snap and Famicom Detective Club — but there are still some notable absences on the Switch.

Where is 1080 or Wave Race or EXCITE TRUCK

Where is an original 2D Mario Game that isn't Maker

As far as re-releases go, where are Yoshi's Wooly World and Kirby's Epic Yarn and Paper Mario TTYD

Where is Super Mario RPG

Where are the GB and GBA NSO apps

and finally

Where is n i n t e n d o g s
 
Gay Bowser said:
I don't have a lot of grievances with Nintendo to air — we've been getting so many dream projects like New Pokémon Snap and Famicom Detective Club — but there are still some notable absences on the Switch.

Where is 1080 or Wave Race or EXCITE TRUCK

Where is an original 2D Mario Game that isn't Maker

As far as re-releases go, where are Yoshi's Wooly World and Kirby's Epic Yarn and Paper Mario TTYD

Where is Super Mario RPG

Where are the GB and GBA NSO apps

and finally

Where is n i n t e n d o g s
Click to expand...
VERY YES

Serif said:
LET

ME

TURN

OFF

THE

N S O

B O R D E R S
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VERY YES
 
0
Nintendo, I don't care what you have to do or who you have to bribe. Just get every 3rd party developer to put their games on the NSO. I want an endless library of games.

In the meantime, give us the Gameboy/Color games already.
 
The current Switch is CHEEKS

Beyond dated

Playing games on it because of its dogshit performance is actively making the gameplay experience worse (for games that would otherwise be amazing e.g Scarlet/Violet)
 
While we’re airing grievances I’m still salty they never stepped in to save CING when they were dying. We have all been deprived of that Ashley Robbins/Kyle Hyde team up game we deserved and it’s all Nintendo’s fault.
 
0
Bring back free online play you jerks! I don't want your shitty subscription service!

Fix your god damn joy cons! I had one drift last winter and now the other started drifting!

Fix the laggy-ass eShop! (and your web storefront while you're at it!)

We need more Tokyo Mirage Sessions damnit!

Ah, that felt good. Great thread idea and happy festivus!
 
Please free EPD9 from Mario Kart Tour/Booster Pass hell and give the people what they want: ARMS 2. You’re clearly not putting all of your effort into the Booster Pass considering how shoddy the tracks look (Why does Rock Rock Mountain look a generation better on the flipping 3DS?) Please, ARMS is the most underrated first party game on the Switch and deserves a second chance.

If they announce Mario Kart 9 in 2024 I’m be simultaneously happy that we’re finally getting a new traditional Mario Kart after 10 years, but also sad that we’re probably not seeing an ARMS 2 until 10 years after the original at the earliest.
 
0
Hmmm. I'll get weird and specific with mine.

-Super Mario 64 in the NSO + Expansion Pack isn't the Shindou version. That's fine, I don't mind getting region-accurate releases on there (when possible), and we already have that version in 3D All-Stars. But I want to know what the rumble felt like with a proper N64 controller. That's fine, you say, 3D All-Stars added support for the NSO controller. While that's true, they didn't support rumble. We were so close damnit. While I like HD rumble, anything designed for the old motors just comes across as weak when translated.

-On the topic of N64, where is F-Zero X EXpansion Kit and Super Smash Bros. and Donkey Kong 64 and

-Mario Party Superstars needs an original physics option. Yes, I know that's a huge pain for the devs and only I would appreciate it. No, I don't care.

-Having The Origami King and Yoshi's Crafted World doesn't excuse them from porting Color Splash and Woolly World, unless they actually plan to have more general Wii U emulation in the future (doubt).

-WHERE IS XENOBLADE X (wait, that's actually a common one. my b)

-I love my copy of NSMBU DX, but I wish it were a New Super Mario All-Star with all four games. Hard to argue with the sales... but I am. The other three aren't made irrelevant by NSMBU.

-Splatoon should have an asynchronous multiplayer mode revolving around a couple of players creating havoc with F.L.U.D.D.s. It's right there. Just do it. No, I'm not sure what the actual objectives/win conditions should be for each team.

-The Switch is incredibly versatile but I wish it had preserved dual screen gaming in some way, even optionally.

Aurc said:
Seriously, why are friend codes still a thing? We'd had enough of them over a decade ago! Sony and Microsoft solved this problem in 2005/6!
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Honestly, I'll take this in exchange for duplicate usernames that can be changed at any time. Why they went for a permanent friend code over 4 digits tied to the username (like in Splatoon 3, or more commonly, Discord), IDK.
 
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