Discussion Social Media will destroy you

[Pagan]

Hey people. So here is a song from Stromae. I guess most of you have watched the Videoclip. But this is more relevant than ever. Alot of young people are losing themselves in social Media and as Stromae is showing it in its clip, it's literally made to eat you, then shit you out and get the next victim. Take a couple of days off from socal media. Do it twice a week or more often. It helps for your well being. I for myself have deleted all of my accounts on every social media Plattform besides what's app. I am feeling so much better now. Please take care. You don't need followers to see if you are loved or not. You are. You are precious. Take care.

 

[Tangerine_Cookie]

Social Media extracts profit out of making you, and everyone, feel worse. That's the gist of it. It's no coincidence most therapists will actively ask you to stop using it when dealing with mental health stuff.

Abandon it if possible, or at least always keep that in mind when interacting with it. You'll be happier. Seriously.

 

[Ramune]

It's a tricky balance for me.

I deactivate my socials quite a lot to give myself breathing room and to take stock of who and what I actually 'miss' from them while I'm off them - a big factor in me doing this is that I think increasingly people online and especially in fan culture have really thrown caution to the wind in terms of just blithely spouting off petty shit that's really harmful to others and would be better left unsaid. I realise it's kind of contrite, but I wish people would consider how the things they say might affect countless random people who will see it.

In general I'm quite an isolated person (even pre-Covid). I like seclusion and a lot of time to myself, but even so, I don't have many close contacts, and that can wear you down. Social media can be a way to at least get some small interaction with other people, and so I've never fully dumped it - the big issue, obviously, is that sometimes that interaction can go very sour, isn't often very deep, and when you do take stock of these things it's fairly obvious that a lot of acquaintances online would probably be ignoring or bullying you IRL and you don't have an actual friendship with them. Womp womp.

I totally ignore Instagram etc., at least now. I would follow extremely attractive people and then wonder why I felt like a hideous goblin. I mean, I still do most days, but now I see slightly fewer people who I wish I could swap bodies with or who heighten my discontent with my genes.

Love a good shitpost tho, and social media is good for that.

 

[7threst]

In general I'm quite an isolated person (even pre-Covid). I like seclusion and a lot of time to myself, but even so, I don't have many close contacts, and that can wear you down. Social media can be a way to at least get some small interaction with other people, and so I've never fully dumped it - the big issue, obviously, is that sometimes that interaction can go very sour, isn't often very deep, and when you do take stock of these things it's fairly obvious that a lot of acquaintances online would probably be ignoring or bullying you IRL and you don't have an actual friendship with them. Womp womp.

You are so right. That "big issue" you mention being obvious isn't so obvious unfortunately. I deleted most of my social media years ago and it has done lots for me, even though I grew up before the internet age and should have known better. Social media can be so detrimental to ones health and it is so creepy how you can only see it when you get rid of it. Which is of course just the thing. Like an addiction, as if you need it while you actually don't.

 

[Ramune]

You are so right. That "big issue" you mention being obvious isn't so obvious unfortunately. I deleted most of my social media years ago and it has done lots for me, even though I grew up before the internet age and should have known better. Social media can be so detrimental to ones health and it is so creepy how you can only see it when you get rid of it. Which is of course just the thing. Like an addiction, as if you need it while you actually don't.

Yeah, I get what you mean - to be honest it can also be a really tough pill to swallow, as we've been conditioned to see certain metrics online as indicators of social success. It can be quite hurtful and sad to recognise that many of the people you interact with online aren't friends, even if you'd like them to be. I struggle with this a lot, and quite a few people I mutually follow are people I would love to be more like or friends with in real life, which sort of strengthens the hold it all has on you. It's very silly!

I should probably also be clear, this isn't to say no online friendship can have depth or lead to something more meaningful. But it can also be a minefield because of how entangled it all is with social media nonsense these days, as well as the kinds of interactions we're encouraged to have (photos, videos, short bursts of text that tend towards quips and/or bluntness).

 

[shoptroll]

Deactivated my FB account last year during the election cycle. Haven’t regretted it at all. Online friend group I stay in contact with a Slack instance we all use, local friends via text/email, family via text. Extended family can still reach me via FB messenger (which I guess requires a separate deactivation but I barely check it anyways to be worth the hassle) or relaying things through the rest of the family.

It works for me and I don’t have the regular anxiety of “oh I should check FB or I should post something” that I used to have if I went a few weeks without using it. I do not regret this decision at all.

 

[Deleted member 1141]

I mean..

I've been active in forums, chatrooms, and effectively early forms of social media since about 2000-2001.

I'm not going to say I'm doing good, and I definitely had some horrible experiences thanks to it, but without it, I literally would not be here right now. Seriously. I would've literally been alone, without any friends, with no social contact, and likely, well...

Either way, social media is both a curse as much as a blessing and it doesn't have to be that way. The fact companies would rather let terrible things happen then fix it, always infuriates me.

 

[Deleted member 1108]

I deleted FB because I got the realization that it is a self imposed ad reel. That and some acquaintances aren't as nice as I thought. I don't miss it.

I do like Instagram though.

 

[Rika]

I've been active in forums, chatrooms, and effectively early forms of social media since about 2000-2001.

Shit, I'd say I recall the Yahoo chat rooms way back and even some forums from back then too.

Either way, social media is both a curse as much as a blessing and it doesn't have to be that way. The fact companies would rather let terrible things happen then fix it, always infuriates me.

Exactly. I think social media is a blessing and a curse honestly. It has lead to me making friends online be it forums, chatrooms, or other websites. Without it I'd also likely have zero friends whatsoever. I have no actual real life friends whatsoever namely cause making friends IRL as an adult sucks ass. I for sure would say social media and the Internet as a whole haven't always been good and had my fair share of horrible experiences too.

 

[Rainbow]

Jupp, after many years, i nuked my Facebook Account. Doesn't regret it at all. The shit that was going on there got unbearable.

Hate and racism spread at any news. People i know start posting conspiracy theories or bullshit about vaccination.

Some weeks after, whistleblowers revealed, Facebook does that on purpose for the clicks. Not a surprise at this point. Facebook in this state is dangerous and needs to be stopped.

 

[juuso]

I've left Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and even LinkedIn (which is almost a crime in my field of work ). I am on YouTube, but am questioning even that.

The main problems I have with social media personally is that the systems are built to maximize the time spent on the platform (to show you ads) and to collect any data that they can get out of you (to show you ads). It makes sense as it's easy to measure how much engagement you're getting, and once you can do that you can start taking actions to increase that engagement.

This is fundamentally a sad thing to do to people in itself, but it has also given rise to all sorts of vile hate groups. This is a bit specific, but I also have issues with highly targeted political ads the platforms enable, as it hinders the openness of democracy - not everybody is able to discuss the same message, as some parts of the society are being targeted with some messages almost in secret.

Going off on a tangent a bit, but this is something I've also given some thought. When you think of a paid subscription service, it is in many ways less problematic just based on it's business goals than something based on ad revenue. For example comparing Youtube and Netflix, Youtube wants to show you as much ads as possible, and they achieve that by having you spend as much time as possible on Youtube. Netflix, on the other hand, only needs you to keep your subscription active as long as possible. They don't need to get you hooked, they just need to make you believe there's something meaningful to watch whenever you happen to have time.

 

[Ramune]

Shit, I'd say I recall the Yahoo chat rooms way back and even some forums from back then too

I ran a Final Fantasy Yahoo group as a teenager lol. And I used to RP in Yahoo chat rooms.

I definitely made some very good friends back in the day on boards who I’m still in touch with, and I met a bunch of queer people in my city through a board when I moved here. But I think the way online interaction has evolved beyond boards and groups makes stuff like that a little harder (for me lol).

 

[Zellia]

I maintain a minimal Facebook presence because my social circle uses it for events, but I really want to be rid of it. Absolute sewer drain of a site.

 

[Rika]

I ran a Final Fantasy Yahoo group as a teenager lol. And I used to RP in Yahoo chat rooms.

Facebook groups seem to be the replacements mostly if you have interests, hobbies, etc. i've not seen any RP ones obviously. MySpace did have RP groups and such if I recall though!

 

[Clix]

Yeah, as someone with a daughter who is 12 and luckily not yet into social media, it gives me so much anxiety.

I’ll be honest and I don’t care what kind of pushback people on social media would probably give me…. The age shouldn’t be 13. Honestly, no kid under 18 should be able to make an account. And they need to figure out ways to really make it work. I was a kid. I knew well how to get around restrictions, and I had great parents, so it’s not as simple if you’re a good parent excuse I hear people say or when the blame the parents. I was a kid, and even with great parents I still did shit I shouldn’t have done or got away with things I shouldn’t be doing. Everybody loves to blame the parents when it’s just BS.

However, shit, throw some extra hurdles. Have tighter moderation on flagged suspected underage accounts. Make it a bigger PITA to make an account. Fuck, you have to provide a valid CC to make an identity check to make sure you’re of age on many adult websites.

I strongly believe this, because I see too much what social media does to kids. From self esteem to bullying. And bullying from grown ass people. How many times I’ve seen some 20 something just tear into a 14 year old over fucking fan art, and then their followed dogpile.

 

[YoboD]

I personally have felt a lot better after getting off Facebook and Instagram, and I have 0 desire to ever get on Twitter. Just so much unending negativity and a compulsion to keep clicking which makes it even worse for me.

 

[Deleted member 1676]

I feel much happier without social media, but there are times where I miss having online friends to send cool game news to and whatnot. Or just that satisfaction of seeing that someone interacted with you and you can see what it is (a comment, a tag, etc.) but - that’s kind of the poison in itself - it’s addicting and like playing the lottery waiting for more acknowledgment or whatever. It’s a weird psychological endorphin.

This Forum is a ton of fun though because it’s super precise, casual and reminds me of all my great Internet forum memories from 2002-2006. Lots of fun times on NSider, Rare Extreme and others. This feels a bit like a call back to that.

 

[xghost777]

I’ve only ever had a Twitter and I guess an account here now. I feel social media is always what you put into it. Like I’ve virtually never had a bad experience with Twitter since I mostly only follow news and friends/acquaintances and I’m thoroughly uninterested in growing my follower count. I don’t follow anyone who gives off weird vibes, I’m not afraid to quietly use the mute/block features (which rarely comes up anyway), and I never use the search feature for topics/hashtags. Everything I want out of Twitter is on my timeline. Always seems like the people most miserable on Twitter seek out their unhappiness there.

If you aren’t having fun/it isn’t working for you why even bother with social media.

 

[Emily]

I never liked the idea of kids and young teens using social media platforms. The brain isn't fully developed until young adulthood, and social media platforms can have a big impact on how our brains process information. Cyberbullying is another problem.

In numerous studies, social media has been widely linked to anxiety and depression in teenagers.

 

[Costa]

I made the decision to cut Twitter from my life after being glued to it for years. I don't necessarily feel better though. I feel a lot more disconnected and apathetic towards the happenings in the world. But I definitely don't miss all the constant noise. I haven't been able to keep up with any controversy that seemed to pop up weekly on Twitter that my ADHD brain would hyperfocus on in an unhealthy way. But it also means I miss out on any big news or movements that would make me happy (not that there were a whole lot).

I also miss reading takes or thoughts from people I follow. But overall I think I am better without it. I feel repulsed whenever I am linked to Twitter now and my urges to want to scroll non-stop have gone away within a week of stopping my use.

 

[Yoshifan31]

Twitter has ruined humanity. You were not supposed to have entire conversations on a microblogging app where you post statuses of 140, now 280 characters. This was originally made for updates and sales pitches. It’s a shame because back then it was actually useful, like 10 years ago you would see it being used to spread awareness and organize protests during times of political unrest such as the Arab Spring. You would think that people in general would be more conscious of their best interests by being so connected. Sadly, the format of the app simply end up helping American stupidity to spread throughout the world, now everything is framed as some kind of binary issue where one side tries to take something from the other. The USA has been the world’s leading superpower for a while, especially in terms of cultural influence but seeing people around the world post their populist and tribalist rhetoric in 280 characters is simply depressing. At least other social media can be clearly useful in their own ways, Instagram was originally made for photographers so you don’t need to engage with superficial content. Facebook is a digital extension of your real life, just be conscious of the unapolegetic ad algortihm and don’t mind that, you can just use it to keep contact with people you know. Twitter is simply rotten to its core. Quitting it is a net positive if you ask me, besides maybe sports Twitter or meme Twitter the whole platform is a cesspool

 

[Brawlz]

I deactivated my Facebook earlier this year, but kept Messenger open for family.

I still use Twitter, but I use it as a center for breaking news (Gaming/anime mainly) so it serves an actual purpose for me.

 

[Rika]

I deactivated my Facebook earlier this year, but kept Messenger open for family.

I have family who don't even use that, sadly.

 

[Bear Patrol]

Yup. I only keep FB around to use Messenger but removed everything else from my phone. My last post was something like 3 years ago and it's really helped.

 

[Rika]

I did not listen to the song properly till yesterday. I 100 percent agree with the song's message. No one even likes, comments, or shares my stuff on Facebook or Twitter anyway. It's very rare I get likes on either platform and have found not caring has helped me a lot. I just post and expect nothing.

 

[Deleted member 1587]

I've never been the kind of person that feels jealousy or anger from social media posts. I really don't care about people's vacations, political opinions, or parties and if someone posts dumb stuff, I mute or unfollow. Same with Twitter.

Social media has been the tool I've used to make my current groups of friends — I simply wouldn't had met them without Instagram and to a lesser extent Discord. I talk to a lot of people via IG chat. It would definitely be a net negative socially if I deleted my account.

I respect people's choice to get off it though.

 

[Rika]

Social media has been the tool I've used to make my current groups of friends — I simply wouldn't had met them without Instagram and to a lesser extent Discord. I talk to a lot of people via IG chat. It would definitely be a net negative socially if I deleted my account.

Yup, same. If it wasn't for social media or even forums/chatrooms I'd likely have not formed friendships with people online. Same with gaming too!
Some of course fell out of touch with over the years, but still think about the old friends I did make back then.

 

[Deleted member 1896]

Never heard of Stromae before and now after listening to a few songs I'm a fan! Thanks OP!

Also, the animation in that twitter music video is sick! Reminds me of classic Disney animation!

 

[Mach 13 Elephant Explosion]

I have a Facebook and mostly just use Discord and Snapchat to connect with people I know either in real life or have had a connection to online already.

I had a situation where a person was harassing me on Twitter. I couldn't get it to stop so I abandoned it for two weeks for my own mental health.

Social Media extracts profit out of making you, and everyone, feel worse. That's the gist of it. It's no coincidence most therapists will actively ask you to stop using it when dealing with mental health stuff.

Abandon it if possible, or at least always keep that in mind when interacting with it. You'll be happier. Seriously.

So as it turns out, this is exactly what happened to me. I ended up feeling a lot better. I wasn't constantly checking Twitter every hour and ended up only seeing content from people who actually cared about me. Turns out Twitter overall was just clouding my perception of the world since I was only ever seeing horrifically negative takes from people. I wouldn't recommend that everyone abandon Twitter but it did a lot of good for me.

 

[Tangerine_Cookie]

So as it turns out, this is exactly what happened to me. I ended up feeling a lot better. I wasn't constantly checking Twitter every hour and ended up only seeing content from people who actually cared about me. Turns out Twitter overall was just clouding my perception of the world since I was only ever seeing horrifically negative takes from people. I wouldn't recommend that everyone abandon Twitter but it did a lot of good for me.

That's basically it, yeah.

Basically every single social network is gonna be running on some algorithm that tries to drive your "engagement" with the platform up. The robots doing that quickly discovered that the most engaged people are the angry ones, so they are going to favor showing you shit that actively makes you feel worse. Because this will drive people to yell, complain, harass, and the like.

And like, even inside of Twitter, that's not how the majority of content goes. There's a lot of wholesome content shared... that gets buried because it doesn't drive up engagement. Only the shitty stuff prevails, and gets shown around.

It's also important to always remember that Twitter/Facebook aren't the entire world. Not everyone uses Twitter, and the people that do would probably have a lot of milder takes in real life. "Touching grass" is become sort of a meme, but sometimes it's important to do that, go out, see how the average person works, see how most people "outside" won't be as much of a dick than the average seems to be online.

 

[Rika]

This is an hour long video, but really think it was a good watch. Even if you watch it in 10-15 minute bits it's a decent watch.

 

[Lucifer]

Social media is largely responsible for the extreme polarisation, dumbification, and politicisation of everything. It should never have been used that way as it's actually fucking up people and societies.

I use it for funny, memes, sending memes to friends, some life tips, looking at pics of friends and some hot guys and that's it.

I'm still wary even of this forum after RE.

I hope humanity will become better equipped at using social media, because that video clip is scarily accurate.

It's hilarious how we can discuss the grey and complex characters in Game of Thrones, but in real life we act like caricatures, fictional characters are starting to hold more nuance than some people lately.

 

[Rika]

I use it for funny, memes, sending memes to friends, some life tips, looking at pics of friends and some hot guys and that's it.

Same here. I only use my social media accounts to post memes, share articles (recipes, life tips/hacks, or whatever else), and that's it. My Twitter basically is just a RT account.

 

[Jersh]

Every time I hear something like this, I kinda scoff and feel like it's overdramatic, as I largely find social media to be a useful tool. Then I realize I spend about 2 minutes checking Facebook every few days, have two specific Twitter accounts that I look at once or twice a day (I don't even check my actual feed at this point - since I just use the browser, the accounts I want autocomplete and I go directly to their pages), and I frequently check on sports related subreddits as a way of getting news. The only other regular engagement I have with something that could be considered social media is this forum.

That is, I think, a well below average time spent on social media (I don't even post/comment on Facebook, and on Twitter I just have the occasional reply). It just doesn't register to me that social media as typically consumed is unhealthy, because I never made a conscious decision to limit my time on it; this is just what I naturally arrived at. Given what it can do to people, I suppose I shouldn't take that for granted.

 

[Cow Mengde]

I use social media, but I use it in a very niche fashion. Only friending those who I have similar interests, and remove people that reveal themselves to be shit.

 

[Griffchard]

Anything can destroy you if you use it the wrong way. Social networks are a great way to make new users and interesting acquaintances, promote your creativity or find a job. It is important not to get carried away with it too much and not devote your whole day to social networks. I sell my paintings on Instagram, and it has become a wonderful additional source of income for me. I'm also looking for useful tips for stories on sites like 1394ta.org. And I am sure that social networks, when used correctly, bring only something positive.