So, I have like 4 months with maybe bipolar disorder (I have no idea if it's normal that my psychiatrist has told me that there is an 85% probability that it is that, and when asked if how I can be sure of that is if I have another manic episode.) and a psychologist told me in a session that I probably have ptsd too (I feel really weird that so far all the psychologists I have gone to always talk in maybes)
So far I have been depressed, there is some good days and bad days, but even on the good days I still can feel down, the way I describe it is like a mood that it's always there and sometimes I am able to ignore it and other times I can't.
There is also the issue that I am able to feel two emotions at the same time (this didn't happen to me before), which means that I feel bad plus the emotion I am feeling at the moment.
So, something weird happened today, I woke up and felt great, the depression was still there, but it was almost completely gone, noticed that I had a little muscle pains, but thought nothing of it. In the middle of the day I noticed that the pains were symptoms of a fever, but I was and I am still able to mostly ignore it, but I feel normal again, in the sense that I can think clearly.
So, the thing is that before all this mental issues happened to me a mild fever would take me out completely, but now, not only I am able to mostly ignore it, I also feel normal again.
Is this normal? I have tried to read a little about bipolar disorder, but all I have found so far are vague descriptions that kinda but not really completely describe how I am feeling, also that it is uncontrollable, but I have kinda made peace with that.
I have taken medicine for the fever, and the only problem is that I cant seem to be able to sleep, I am sleepy, but I kinda can't. I am aware that a lack of sleep and having clearer thoughts can be signs of a coming manic episode. I find that to be sad, so I guess I will find out tomorrow if this is indeed that or not.
Tragic stuff aside, does anyone know where I can read more about bipolar disorder? Thanks.