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Discussion Why can we be so mean online?

Beanstar40

Chain Chomp
Pronouns
He/Him
With the way people speak to eachother on social media and forums, the impression that you’d get is that everyone just hates each other. Im certainly guilty of this, some times its easier to post an ill advised hot take or snark laiden response than it is to formulate a well thought out, respectful reply when engaging in dissagreements. Another question is, if the thread of physical repercussions didn’t exist in the real world (i.e. getting punched) would people be just as snarky offline?
 
To answer your last question, absolutely yes, because that's the reason people act the way they do online.

There's a level of self-consciousness that keeps people in check IRL. Hell people on this very site have said stuff to me where, if they had said it to my face, I would outright bojangle them in the nose

But to be fair some people do deserve to be meaned at
 
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I think it's partly that there are no immediate/physical consequences to the things we say online, which makes people feel they can say whatever they want.

I also think some of it is people thinking they need to be witty/snarky/funny to have any impact online, which leads them to act in a certain way if they're seeking attention.

Maybe over time more people will learn how to talk to each other on the internet, and more platforms will do things to encourage decent behaviour instead of trying to profit through drama
 
"people annoy me about nintendo online because I can't beat the shit out of them" was not at all the answer I expected from this thread tbh
Look, if you're gonna come at me sideways about Captain Rainbow you're gonna catch these hands.
 
Wait whose beating up who? Lol no need for violence, i think its interesting, in the real world people hold their shittyness back, then the internet becomes their dumping ground for a days worth of pent up frustration. I will say that for the most part, folks on this forum are very respectful to eachother, which i appreciate. And yeah, it goes without saying, if your opinion involves revoking the rights of or mocking someone because they are different then you, then you probably deserve the snark and more lol, but doing it over video game opinions seems silly
 
...you wouldn't actually beat the shit out of people in real life, right?
Assuming you're subtweeting me here, but no I wouldn't "beat the shit out of people". Weird reading to jump to, as if I go around flogging people.
 
You ever say something you've written down out loud and realized it sounds stupid or horrible? When typing online you don't have to do that.
 
Assuming you're subtweeting me here, but no I wouldn't "beat the shit out of someone". Not sure where you got that. There've been instances where someone has said something to me online where, had they said that in real life, I'd probably bop em in the nose. It's not that shocking of a thing to say.
three of the four responses before mine alluded to physical harm in some way
 
In all seriousness, it's less the implicit threat of violence but more the fact that most humans are ill-equipped to deal with conflict and uncomfortable situations when facing an actual person in real life. Over the internet it's easier to dehumanize someone and ignore the human behind their online persona. The vast majority of people aren't as confrontational in real life as they are on the internet, but they definitely wish they were.
 
I think part of it is that the Internet is kind of an enviroment where people can cut loose and "have fun" in the way they talk too, so being a bit more wild and flippant is gonna be normal and when you're a young man (which is most Gamin' Dudez online) that is gonna translate into "BYLETH?! I HOPE SAKURAI DIES! AUGH AUGH AUGH (eats keyboard)"
 
I think part of it is that the Internet is kind of an enviroment where people can cut loose and "have fun" in the way they talk too, so being a bit more wild and flippant is gonna be normal and when you're a young man (which is most Gamin' Dudez online) that is gonna translate into "BYLETH?! I HOPE SAKURAI DIES! AUGH AUGH AUGH (eats keyboard)"
I love the idea of someone getting so mad over a smash reveal that they literally start to devour their computer/phone.
 
three of the four responses before mine alluded to physical harm in some way
oh yeah? you wanna take this outside?

<3

Realistically, I think it's most often some combination of dehumanization (not necessarily in a malicious sense; simply forgetting that there's another actual, thinking human on the other end) and the lack of visual/aural cues meaning remarks are more easily interpreted in a way they are not necessarily intended. Non-verbal cues are an enormous part of in-person communication, and in an environment where those cues are stripped away, and people aren't necessarily Emily Post about their writing style, it's a recipe for a nastygram feedback loop.

And then sometimes people are just buttholes.
 
three of the four responses before mine alluded to physical harm in some way

Alluding to physical harm in this context doesn't need to make you concerned that people here go around beating up others
 
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I think part of it is that the Internet is kind of an enviroment where people can cut loose and "have fun" in the way they talk too, so being a bit more wild and flippant is gonna be normal and when you're a young man (which is most Gamin' Dudez online) that is gonna translate into "BYLETH?! I HOPE SAKURAI DIES! AUGH AUGH AUGH (eats keyboard)"
I guess I'm the opposite. I thought "Byleth? I hope Sakurai keeps adding more Fire Emblem to Smash! Also hope he convinces Nintendo to make an amiibo of the correct Byleth" (sadly this didn't happen)!
 
I guess I'm the opposite. I thought "Byleth? I hope Sakurai keeps adding more Fire Emblem to Smash! Also hope he convinces Nintendo to make an amiibo of the correct Byleth" (sadly this didn't happen)!
Is your avatar modeled on Takeshi Kitano or is the similarity just coincidental?
 
I guess I'm the opposite. I thought "Byleth? I hope Sakurai keeps adding more Fire Emblem to Smash! Also hope he convinces Nintendo to make an amiibo of the correct Byleth" (sadly this didn't happen)!
Every single "character I dreamed of as a kid" got added to Smash Bros during Brawl and Smash Wii U, so I'm kinda of dettached from the Hopium Cycle at this point and I'm willing to see Sakurai do whatever he wants to do, in whatever way he wants to do it.
 
Is your avatar modeled on Takeshi Kitano or is the similarity just coincidental?
That's Yamanoi from Yakuza 0. He teaches Kiryu how to partake in capitalism.

Kitano is in the series as well, but not until Yakuza 6.
 
I genuinely feel like I behave online in much the same way I do irl. I don't go looking for conflict, and even in the midst of a disagreement, I'd much rather talk things through, and strive to reach an understanding with the opposite party. I find there to be immense value in aiming to forge friendly relationships (versus creating forced online "rivals"), and the recognition of that value has only amplified, as I've gotten older. Though my forum conflict record isn't totally spotless, the instances in which I'd say things have gotten genuinely "heated" are few and far between, and the vast majority of them were still just disagreements about video games, at the end of the day. I mostly left my "debate bro" days behind in my teenage years, and I'm super grateful for that. I also have little interest in being a mean dude (whether I'm around friends, or complete strangers).

I do wish there'd be way less snark, and far more sincerity online, but what can ya do. The internet is what it is, and the psychological effect of knowing you can talk smack without repercussions will always remain a powerful one.
 
I genuinely feel like I behave online in much the same way I do irl. I don't go looking for conflict, and even in the midst of a disagreement, I'd much rather talk things through, and strive to reach an understanding with the opposite party. I find there to be immense value in aiming to forge friendly relationships (versus creating forced online "rivals"), and the recognition of that value has only amplified, as I've gotten older. Though my forum conflict record isn't totally spotless, the instances in which I'd say things have gotten genuinely "heated" are few and far between, and the vast majority of them were still just disagreements about video games, at the end of the day. I mostly left my "debate bro" days behind in my teenage years, and I'm super grateful for that. I also have little interest in being a mean dude (whether I'm around friends, or complete strangers).

I do wish there'd be way less snark, and far more sincerity online, but what can ya do. The internet is what it is.
I agree with all of this. I do admit I occasionally let trolls get my goat, but I really do treasure places like Fami for their sense of community.
 
I agree with all of this. I do admit I occasionally let trolls get my goat, but I really do treasure places like Fami for their sense of community.
Yes. This forum is very good so far compared to my impressions lurking in ones before. Good to see the moderation respond properly to real issues here and not brush things away like other forums that care more about ad revenue than the community.
 
Yes. This forum is very good so far compared to my impressions lurking in ones before. Good to see the moderation respond properly to real issues here and not brush things away like other forums that care more about ad revenue than the community.
Also, honestly, I appreciate that Fami moderators are actually willing to warn posters and attempt to correct their behavior when they step out of line rather than banning them outright. Not that such unjust, unilateral moderation has ever happened to me on any other gaming-related forum. :cautious:
 
Very kind words here, folks. :) Really happy to hear we seem to be doing a decent job (and when we're not, we totally expect to be called out for it). Gonna pass your sentiments along to the others.
 
I genuinely feel like I behave online in much the same way I do irl.
I do wish there'd be way less snark, and far more sincerity online, but what can ya do.
I also feel like I behave online similarly to how I do IRL. And I am definitely just as snarky in person. 😁
(I think it's a defense mechanism because anxietyyyyy)
 
It's because you're incentivized to boil your communications style down to a series of pithy sarcastic one liners. That's what brings home the Yeahs.

But seriously, real life conversations have a lot of filler. On a message board or on Twitter you are encouraged to seek out maximum engagement for everything you say. Well, that or release pent up feelings by yelling into the void. But that's just as unhealthy.

There's no victory condition. What are you gonna do?
 
I also feel like I behave online similarly to how I do IRL. And I am definitely just as snarky in person. 😁
(I think it's a defense mechanism because anxietyyyyy)
Aw. Understandable! Sass and snark can be a lot of fun, and I totally get how they can take the edge off. I feel like I clash with folks who make it the most dominant thing in their personalities, or at least their online presence. 😅 It's more fun when people are sassy and snarky, but clearly also a really sweet and warm person, and not afraid to show that side of themselves. I get that vibe off you, honestly!
 
Aw. Understandable! Sass and snark can be a lot of fun, and I totally get how they can take the edge off. I feel like I clash with folks who make it the most dominant thing in their personalities, or at least their online presence. 😅 It's more fun when people are sassy and snarky, but clearly also a really sweet and warm person, and not afraid to show that side of themselves. I get that vibe off you, honestly!
Thankyoooooooouuuuu
I think it's part of why I use emojis so much actually, because in person I will be outrageously snarky but with a smile and a wink, and online if I just type what I'd normally say in person I fear it could come across as overly harsh without the vocal inflection and facial expressions to convey that I'm being lightheaded yall, so to get that across I just 😁🤣😂😏😉😘 all the fuck over the place 😅
 
It's because you're incentivized to boil your communications style down to a series of pithy sarcastic one liners. That's what brings home the Yeahs.

But seriously, real life conversations have a lot of filler. On a message board or on Twitter you are encouraged to seek out maximum engagement for everything you say. Well, that or release pent up feelings by yelling into the void. But that's just as unhealthy.

There's no victory condition. What are you gonna do?
Well, you got my Yeah!, and ya didn't even have to make a funni Squidward tier internet man "joke" (this time!) Things are kinda getting real in here.

For some reason, even though Fami has Yeah!s (where other forums may, or may not have their own equivalent), I never feel like I have to be in a competition to be the funniest guy in the room. It's a competition I wouldn't win, either way, but not having the pressure there at all is really nice. I think it's because we're more of a modestly sized community, and that naturally cultivates a comfier vibe. A small town or village, versus a big city where people are spitting on the floor around them, and couldn't give a toss about the next rando over. Here, we see each other's faces (avatars) often, we recognize each other on the street (in threads) easily, and I feel like that only contributes positively toward a perception of the other person as a person, above all else.
 
Ack!

...ya know what, I'm leaving the typo. It made me laugh too hard.

Well, you got my Yeah!, and ya didn't even have to make a funni Squidward tier internet man "joke" (this time!) Things are kinda getting real in here.

For some reason, even though Fami has Yeah!s (where other forums may, or may not have their own equivalent), I never feel like I have to be in a competition to be the funniest guy in the room. It's a competition I wouldn't win, either way, but not having the pressure there at all is really nice. I think it's because we're more of a modestly sized community, and that naturally cultivates a comfier vibe. A small town or village, versus a big city where people are spitting on the floor around them, and couldn't give a toss about the next rando over. Here, we see each other's faces (avatars) often, we recognize each other on the street (in threads) easily, and I feel like that only contributes positively toward a perception of the other person as a person, above all else.
This is... such a good analogy. Or metaphor. Or whichever this is. Don't judge me, high school was over 20 years ago.
 
Well, you got my Yeah!, and ya didn't even have to make a funni Squidward tier internet man "joke" (this time!) Things are kinda getting real in here.

For some reason, even though Fami has Yeah!s (where other forums may, or may not have their own equivalent), I never feel like I have to be in a competition to be the funniest guy in the room. It's a competition I wouldn't win, either way, but not having the pressure there at all is really nice. I think it's because we're more of a modestly sized community, and that naturally cultivates a comfier vibe. A small town or village, versus a big city where people are spitting on the floor around them, and couldn't give a toss about the next rando over. Here, we see each other's faces (avatars) often, we recognize each other on the street (in threads) easily, and I feel like that only contributes positively toward a perception of the other person as a person, above all else.
I use yeahs as a nod more than anything else

you'll often see me yeah posts I disagree with or go against what I was saying just because I appreciate them
 
I use yeahs as a nod more than anything else

you'll often see me yeah posts I disagree with or go against what I was saying just because I appreciate them
Same here. Like every time I Yeah! any name in the Hardware Thread that isn't Super Nintendo Switch.

Hell you shoulda seen us on half flag day (dec 14th)
Did you play half the song?
 


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